The Addiction to Tindr
The first time you try it you have no idea what to expect from it, so you just go along with the flow. You see on Tindr in order to start a conversation with people of the opposite/same gender, the other party must click the "Yes" button when passing by your profile. The ego boost will start to skyrocket when you have just realised a lot of people start initiating a conversation with you and all because they had only looked at your profile picture. I know this for a fact because my profile only says "Hi" and that's it.
However, I finally understood that online dating was not for the naive or the soft hearted. I had jumped to such a conclusion because I have an extremely soft heart and I could easily grow an affection for you, be it as a friend or a lover. But I just had a break up and so I was caring for those whom I had met online as friends. Yes, I know you guys are probably going "Sureeeeeee".
Anyways, I was talking to many of them and when I deleted Tindr, I had chosen to talk to one on Whatsapp. We had such a good time chatting or at least that is what I had thought. He said he would whatsapp me the next day but he did not. The whole day I felt like I was just waiting for his messages and it just clicked in me.
My friends around me were using online dating applications/websites to meet new people and they were always harping on the fact that the person didn't message them or reply their messages and I did not use an online dating application at that point of time, I had thought they were over reacting and I could not understand why they had so much expectations for someone they met online. And now I am having the exact same expectation for someone I just met online.
I started spiraling negatively, thinking he probably did not like me anymore or had found someone else to talked to. After all he is using Tindr, and everyone "shops" and talks to many people at once to keep their options open. My defense mechanism when I felt disappointed was to rationalize.
This was how the 21st century will be dating, always keeping their options open and window shopping for the more perfect match for them to partner with. On the look for better accessories, better outfits that would clothe their imperfections. After feeling worse and knowing my rationalization is not working, I felt worse about myself. I felt the urge to download Tindr again and get my ego boost with all those guys showering me with attention. This was how addiction to online dating would have happened if I did not stop myself and think about why I was feeling this way.
Whats the cycle going to be like for addiction behind online dating?
1. The ego boost to knowing the vast number of people you could mean in a short period of time as compared to if we meet those in our everyday lives. Having these insane number of people talking to you and seeking for your attention feels god damn good. Don't deny it.
2.Then after shopping and trying out the samples, we finally found those few and invested a tiny bit of our heart in them to increase the interactions and affections.
3. Having a blast with one/two of them
4. Suddenly, your outfits stopped fitting you perfectly and the one you had invested a bit of your heart had stopped reciprocating. You start questioning yourself, self esteem and ego boost all plummet to the bottom. You need re-affirmation so you go back shopping for others but this time you are looking for
However, I finally understood that online dating was not for the naive or the soft hearted. I had jumped to such a conclusion because I have an extremely soft heart and I could easily grow an affection for you, be it as a friend or a lover. But I just had a break up and so I was caring for those whom I had met online as friends. Yes, I know you guys are probably going "Sureeeeeee".
Anyways, I was talking to many of them and when I deleted Tindr, I had chosen to talk to one on Whatsapp. We had such a good time chatting or at least that is what I had thought. He said he would whatsapp me the next day but he did not. The whole day I felt like I was just waiting for his messages and it just clicked in me.
My friends around me were using online dating applications/websites to meet new people and they were always harping on the fact that the person didn't message them or reply their messages and I did not use an online dating application at that point of time, I had thought they were over reacting and I could not understand why they had so much expectations for someone they met online. And now I am having the exact same expectation for someone I just met online.
I started spiraling negatively, thinking he probably did not like me anymore or had found someone else to talked to. After all he is using Tindr, and everyone "shops" and talks to many people at once to keep their options open. My defense mechanism when I felt disappointed was to rationalize.
This was how the 21st century will be dating, always keeping their options open and window shopping for the more perfect match for them to partner with. On the look for better accessories, better outfits that would clothe their imperfections. After feeling worse and knowing my rationalization is not working, I felt worse about myself. I felt the urge to download Tindr again and get my ego boost with all those guys showering me with attention. This was how addiction to online dating would have happened if I did not stop myself and think about why I was feeling this way.
Whats the cycle going to be like for addiction behind online dating?
1. The ego boost to knowing the vast number of people you could mean in a short period of time as compared to if we meet those in our everyday lives. Having these insane number of people talking to you and seeking for your attention feels god damn good. Don't deny it.
2.Then after shopping and trying out the samples, we finally found those few and invested a tiny bit of our heart in them to increase the interactions and affections.
3. Having a blast with one/two of them
4. Suddenly, your outfits stopped fitting you perfectly and the one you had invested a bit of your heart had stopped reciprocating. You start questioning yourself, self esteem and ego boost all plummet to the bottom. You need re-affirmation so you go back shopping for others but this time you are looking for
"better fitting outfits that will clothe your insecurity"